Of Mice and Other Funny Creatures

So on the day following my first missed weekly blog post, I am reflecting on where exactly expressing oneself falls on pretty much anyone's hierarchy of needs. When faced with electrical, sewage, and mechanical issues that would worry Job, typing away on a coputer seems a bit too Nero to me. Besides, all the wet wipes in the world won't make me comfortable going back and forth between pulling a black water tank and molesting my brand new, albeit very cheap, laptop. I'm just about set to hook up to the internet in a less tethered fashion, through my Blackberry Blast - I'll report on it once the deed is done. For now, we're sitting outside the home of a friend and piggy-backing on their service for a small fee towards their electric and internet bills - with bathroom privileges too - a godsend considering we have none yet in our little box on wheels.

Most of the last few days since leaving home-dwelling, have been spent asking myself "why the hell do I have this?" or more often even "Why the hell do I have two (or four) or these?" and tossing all but the essential. Fear is being tossed too - out in the trash with my excess baggage go thoughts like "What if this one breaks, gets lost, gets stolen?" It's not easy trusting that I'll be able to find another of whatever that thing is but it helps reminding myself of all the times I did without it and even enjoyed myself in the trying. Cheese graters are awesome - but knives work to make things into small bits too. If my cheesegrater ran off with my spoons, I'd survive, so carrying more than one small one becomes suspect. The difference between need and want is so obvious to me now that I wonder how that line ever was so obscured.

I woke this morning to a call from my old landlord - who is just the sweetest man I could have hoped to have as a "last landlord" and since I've had some very not sweet ones in the past, it was a nice way to say goodbye to the species. We had a little glitch - no one's fault really, where I'd told the electric company to shut the electric on a specific day, months ago and then forgot I did. The landlord asked if we would mind leaving the electric on a few extra days since the people would be moving in, I said "of course' and well, chaos ensued. He called me, and I called the electric company. We were all just trying to help each other out and then I realized, in talking with the very professional Electric Co. rep on the phone, that I didn't like how companies treated us people in general these days. So I said "You know, we're people here - just trying to help each other out - decent, kind people living in your community. And you, your company, you are also memebers of our community and if you are not, you are simply profiteering off us. That's not what you're doing, is it?" Of course the manager I'd been put in touch with had her lines down pat, all acquiesing without really giving anything - like a sociopath really, if you think about it.

So I said "Do you ever just go home and look at your children and ask yourself what you're doing with your life? What are you adding to their future world? But of course, most companies do not really want people to have families - I wonder why? I said to here. I  think we all have to start treating each other that way. We need to start paying attention to other people and stop just trying to use each other and you all are going to have to change to accomodate this because this is the way the world is going.

And I realized, at that moment, I spelled out something - still in a bit of twightlight from just awakening and lack of caffeine - I'm making this world around me - I told my landlord the story and he said "I love it". We created between us a bond that transcended our business dealings. I'd like to tell you all that the electric company called me and offered to wave the seventy dollar emergency turn on fee, but of course, you wouldn't believe me. But my landlord, the new tenants and I have agreed to each pay one third of it and that's a start. And maybe if all of you will start demanding that companies act like members of their community, some day, they will too. But in the meantime, at every turn where we can, we have to begin to make the world we want. Don't get upset that it's not that way already - I can tell you from experience, that never works. But what does work, imperfectly to be sure, is to be what you want. Act as you want to encounter and never give in to "that's just how it is" because that is only how it is now, not how it always has been, and not how it has to be in the future.