Give More Than You Take, and Leave It Better Than You Found It

Throughout my own journey and the part that included parenting two people into adulthood (one down and one almost done), I've tried to think of pithy mottoes I could offer that they might remember and that will make their lives easier. I remember the realizations I've had in my life - discovering that getting into work five minutes early and leaving five minutes late might initially feel like the employer is getting something undeserved from me, but it made the rest of my life a whole lot easier. One of the things I tell my kids is to give more than you take and this ended up as a directive on my art project too. I've wrestled a lot with whether this sets them (and me) up for some sort of martyrdom, and have come to the conclusion that it does not. In the same way that giving that extra ten minutes to an employer makes them look the other way when you have an inevitable delay, when you routinely give more, even the coldest person has a moment of pause when you are in need. And let's face it, none of us will ever attain pure autonomy.

But more than some quid pro quo ziglaresque approach, giving more than you take makes the world better - even if you're the only one doing it and it's just your small share floating out there all alone - I believe it makes a difference. And when I realized this and began living my life this way, I started to really attract better people into my world. And that led to feeling like I could set up some boundaries that kept those who don't play by those rules at the right distance from what I was doing. And that changed everything.

So today I'm cleaning this home I've been renting. I've approached all my interactions with my landlord from the perspective of giving more than I took, and he recently told me that this has been the easiest rental he's ever had - I agreed. I'm cleaning from the unseen tops of the ceiling nooks down to scrubbing the corners of the baseboards - a little every day until will leave. I'm replacing the toilet seat, even though it had a crack in it before we got here, and the towel bar that was missing when we arrived. And you know, these things cost me pennies where I picked them up at garage sales and thrift shops but they won me more than a good reference, they've won me a friend. When I want to settle down again, I know who to call. And I know that he will help me. And he knows he can ask for my help too - perhaps with a job he has cleaning out rental units that were left in bad condition.

So I'll pass on here these two mottoes that my family lives by now - Give more than you take and Leave it better than you found it. If the world worked that way, everyone would have plenty, and everything around us would be better and better every day. Since not everyone practices this, those of us who do keep it all from going horribly wrong - because if everyone practiced its opposite, we'd live in a dump and feel terrified of everyone all the time.And I just can't live that way.



Update on the Soiree:
Lovely people turned out and took a whole bunch of my stuff. I purposefully did not take any of the things they brought since I'm trying to get down to just the belongings that can fit in an RV and the smallest storage unit available - that's the goal.

The bread turned out way better than I expected and everyone left with a full belly, although the Stone Soup did end up with a lot more onions than anything else - still, it was very good. On a personal note, Sangria is very very easy to get very very tipsy on. Must remember this. It's just so smooth going down that you keep thinking you're drinking juice. It's a whole lot more fun watching people look through your stuff when you are giving it away for free than it is when you're selling it. Everyone is happy like it's Christmas morning. I'll definitely do a fun swap instead of ever suffering through the petty competitiveness of a yard sale ever again. 

Of Bread and Soup and Gifting Trees

A big part of the inspiration to start this adventure was a project that I was working on and thought I might get a grant to take around the country. I build these Abundance Trees, which are essentially gifting trees that also act as a room in which to discuss the world around us - my hope is that these trees will eventually be built in every city and people will use their interior sitting area to discuss creative solutions to the problems that plague our society. The trees themselves are made from discarded branches and other recycled pieces and it was our intention to install the trees in areas that were hardest hit by the recession - following a list of places where home foreclosures were highest and hitting a few tent cities and such along the way. Homelessness has always seemed such a bizarre issue to me. We have empty houses and buildings that sit that way because there is more to be made by the owners in tax write-offs than by renting them to those in need for less than market value.

So it's sort of fitting that we're beginning this adventure with a Stone Soup Swap and that's just what we're doing today. Everyone is bringing one piece of fruit for the drink and one veggie for the soup and stuff to swap to start our entry into homelessness. I keep thinking to myself that this cannot be that hard - finding creative solutions to problems. I think we've just been brainwashed into thinking there are only these few, very competitive ways of doing anything and so perhaps the first steps to creative thinking is exploring any other way than the first thing that comes to our minds as a solution. Perhaps I should have had a swap meet before I had a sale.


Note:
For anyone who likes baking bread - check out the More With Less Cookbook - it's a Mennonite cookbook that not only has a bounty of bread recipes, but also has some great how tos on making all sorts of stuff you never thought you could from scratch, like ketchup, mayo, grape-nuts and English muffins. None of this stuff is particularly difficult. Try it. You can get the book on Amazon for a song. Well, a few dollars and a song. They probably wouldn't actually take the song either. But I would - come sing for me and I'll trade you my book as soon as I write down my favorite recipes and take your number in case I forget some.

Step One - Burning Down the House

So here is how I'll be doing this blog thing: First I will write something well-researched and packed with information once a week - on Wednesdays. My intro was on Wednesday (yesterday) and next Wednesday I will be exploring all sorts of useful information about buying and stocking an RV for this sort of adventure. I'll give you everything I know, and have collected, unless there is too much information and I have to split it into two parts.

Second, I will be doing small blogs throughout the week (like this one) recapping what new steps have been taken and need to be taken in the coming and last day. So expect a daily journal of preparatory steps that will morph into a daily journal of our adventures when we finally go homeless, alongside a more detailed and in depth analysis, philosophy or informative blog once a week. I'll have some guest bloggers and occasionally let the kids have the wheel, so to speak.

This weekend we're beginning our journey by "Burning Down the House" - not literally, and my landlord will likely read this soon, so let me be clear with my disclaimer: there will be no actual burning. But one of the important steps to being able to make this happen is simplifying our lives and so I have already had a yard sale and now will take what is left and throw a Saturday Stone Soup and Sangria Swap Soiree. People will bring something for the soup pot, a recipe, something for the Sangria pitchers, and stuff to swap - should be loads of fun. If you'd like to join us and didn't get an invitation and you'll be in the Mesa, Arizona area this Saturday, drop me a line and I'll send you an invitation. We'll be throwing a last one just before leaving near the end of April. Today I'm baking bread, cooking soup stock and preparing for the feast.

As a part of this Great Inspiration project, we're committed to finding creative solutions to all our problems. Problems are the mother of invention in our world. This is the first step.